Patience

I am in the state of want.  I want more of this life...I want what I see other people have and I'm not very patient in waiting for it to be my turn to get it.  I want a real job, I want a family, I want to travel the world, I want the perfect body, I want better hair...  All are realistic wants, just right now, I don't have the means to get them.
When I was a kid I wanted so bad to have braces and glasses just like some other kids in my school.  I would take my bangle bracelets and bend them so I could put them in my mouth so they would look like a retainer.  Pretending only got me so far in life.  I thought I had my chance as a 3rd grader to get myself a pair of glasses.  My little sister who was in 1st grade needed to go get her eyes checked since the school nurse lady said she needed to.  My mom made an appointment for her and I, but my old step dad was the one to take us to the eye doctors.  I was so excited.  I knew I would get some great glasses when I left that place.  My sister took her tests and then it was my turn.  I sat in the chair and did what I felt I had to do to get what I wanted.  I was a nice, honest child...I didn't think it would be bad to pretend I couldn't see what he was talking about.  I had no idea what the tests were for, but I played dumb and oh I thought I was genius.  I couldn't see the letters on the chart, when I put the spoon over one eye I couldn't see the object on the wall moving as I switched eyes, I couldn't even see the red dot on the wall in the dark room.  For all he knew I was almost blind and needed glasses so I could see better.  When I left, I didn't leave with a pair of glasses.  My little sister did though.  She got some super cool pink reading glasses with a super girl logo on the side.  I was so jealous of her.  What could I have done wrong?  I think that could have been my first moment where I felt like a failure because I had worked so hard at trying to act my way to a pair of glasses and came home empty handed.
Years later, and I mean years later somehow that story got brought up.  My mother told me that the eye doctor called her up at work that same day and told her that I needed to see a psychiatrist.  ha ha ha!!!  He thought I was crazy and needed some help.  I wonder why she didn't talk to me about it that day when she got off work?  This is such a funny story to think I was that bad at pretending that he thought I was a nut.  I still have perfect vision and am honestly grateful for it.  I did however get to spend a couple years in braces and am also grateful for my mothers investment in my smile.
So, me wanting things... it's not always the right time to have them and I don't want to be a crazy in trying to get them before I can handle them.  I learned to take them as they come, but I will still love today and I'll wait for tomorrow.